


The Dismay of Mikuru Asahina

by thegirlwithmanynames



Category: Suzumiya Haruhi Series, Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu | The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi
Genre: Gen, hints of Kyon/Haruhi Suzumiya
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-12
Updated: 2014-10-12
Packaged: 2018-02-20 20:31:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2442095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegirlwithmanynames/pseuds/thegirlwithmanynames
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mikuru Asahina's been acting strangely in the past week, and her friends have taken notice. Thanks to an SOS Brigade outing at the Brigade leader's demand, the truth comes to light, and Haruhi takes action. Oh, and maybe Kyon has a heart, after all.</p><p>[an exercise in trying to write in the style of the novels; no spoilers for anything past Disappearance besides vague allusions!]</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Dismay of Mikuru Asahina

**Author's Note:**

> so I tried to write a TMoHS short fic in the style of the novels after I finally read the translated version of Surprise. imagine my surprise when it turned out almost 9000 words and with a semblance of a plot! all born out of my desperate need for more Haruhi. hope you enjoy!

There wasn’t much anyone could do when Haruhi decided that she wanted to do something. The rest of us would just be dragged along for the ride, me especially. When it came to things like this, Koizumi was naturally always the enthusiastic yes-man; Asahina-san, wide-eyed, was the innocently interested bystander, watching everything unfold with the patience of a saint; Nagato tagged along diligently; and I was the one that had to pay for everything. As much as Haruhi was unpredictable, the activities that the SOS Brigade engaged in followed a pretty much unchanging routine.

You’d think Haruhi would have gotten bored of that by now, but she hasn’t yet. I prayed to whatever god was out there and listening that she wouldn’t anytime soon.

“Forward march, everyone!”

The illustrious Brigade leader didn’t pause even once in her long stride as she called out to us. Instead, she craned her head to look behind her and waved us ahead, the smile on her face even brighter than the sun that shone down on us and made my stiff school uniform shirt feel even more constricting around my neck. The more traditional girls’ uniform she was wearing didn’t give her any of those problems – her dark hair swung freely, brushing against the exposed nape of her neck in a way that would make painters envious to copy the movement. Maybe that was why she didn’t seem as affected by the heat.

Then again, this was Haruhi. Not even sweltering temperatures that could only be achieved by walking on the sun itself could stop her. She’d just ignore them and charge ahead anyway. What a stubborn person.

Today, she’d decided that the SOS Brigade would benefit from a trip to a local market, even though we had school the next day and theoretically shouldn’t have been staying out late. Not that I minded much; if I remembered correctly, we had a quiz in world history tomorrow, and I wasn’t too fond of differentiating period from period. They all sort of blended in to me. Besides, if Koizumi was to be trusted, potentially none of it before a certain overly familiar year even existed. Trusting Koizumi on his jargon was always a risky move, though, and it wasn’t as though history itself knew what had happened to it, so the quiz would go on tomorrow, and I would likely fail it.

I can’t help thinking that if Asahina-san dressed in the styles appropriate to each historical period, I would learn much better.

“Lost in thought?” came the annoyingly inquisitive remark that I should have expected sooner.

My walking partner – keeping up at my side as he always did – seemed unaffected by the heat as well. Trust Koizumi to continue looking like he walked off the glossy pages of a magazine when the rest of us sweat like pigs in the unnatural heat.

“They must be fascinating, given that you’re so absorbed within them,” he continued obliviously, a peaceful if interested look on his face. It’s hard to take you seriously when you’re constantly smiling like the Mona Lisa, Koizumi. Give it a rest, would you? “Would you mind letting me in on what you were thinking of?”

If you’re thinking you’ll take a vacation into my version of closed space, you’re out of luck, buddy.

“I wasn’t implying as such,” he replied, an amused look appearing in his eyes. “I am fully aware that I owe my powers to Suzumiya-san, and in that sense, even if you _were_ a person who could create closed space, I wouldn’t be able to visit it. I have to say, however, that that would be a terrible shame; I feel it would be very interesting to see what your subconscious would conjure up.”

Fine by me. I’m not in the mood to have espers wander through my head. They might see things I’d regret, and that doesn’t sound like a situation I’d like to be in. There was no way I even wanted to hear what Koizumi thought he’d find interesting in my hypothetical version of closed space.

“In fact,” Koizumi continued, “I simply wondered what had you so lost within yourself, as it’s not often that _that_ sort of expression appears on your face.”

Hey – was that an _insult_?! Speak for yourself, Koizumi! Not all of us spout encyclopedia entries every time we’re asked to answer a simple question; some of us are just average high school students.

I wasn’t ashamed of my intelligence, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t a sore spot, especially with my mom starting to suggest cram school again because of my falling grades. With Kunikida to copy off of and Haruhi now occasionally sitting me down to drill study habits into me, though, I didn’t think I had much to worry about.

“Nothing,” I said, because it really had been as simple as that. “Just wishing we didn’t have to walk so far in this heat.”

“It can’t be much worse than climbing the hill in the heat every morning, can it?"

He probably meant to be consoling, but the reminder only deepened my misery.

“In any case,” he said, slipping his hands into his pockets and flipping his hair as he turned towards me – a suave gesture that looked out of place on him – “I had also wanted to ask you another question; tangentially pertaining, quite coincidentally, to what we just discussed.”

That was surprising.

“Has Asahina-san spoken very much to you in the past week?”

 _That_ was even more surprising.

“Just the usual,” I replied. I didn’t see Asahina-san nearly as much as I would like – mostly only at Brigade meetings, where she would smile like an angel and offer all of us tea, dressed up in the customary maid outfit that had become second nature for all of us to see her in. The simple sight of her soothed my heart.

And yet, thinking about it, Koizumi was right. Asahina-san had seemed unusually quiet in the past week – her smile seemed like it was only an afterthought, and her wide, expressive eyes were less vibrant. My memories of her felt as though they were moving at tired speeds to match her uncertainty.

Even now, looking at her up ahead beside Haruhi, something seemed strange.

“…got the legs to pull off really sexy skirts, you know! But I think something a little longer might suit you better, Yuki-chan – and flowy, not straight, straight would look too harsh on you,” was what Haruhi was rapidly and enthusiastically explaining to Nagato, waving her hands as she did so.

“I see,” came Nagato’s response; her head was turned towards Haruhi, but her body faced forward. Her expression was unchanged, but I could see a small glimmer of interest in her eyes – or maybe that was just the sun, though I liked to think I understood Nagato enough to recognize her miniscule changes in expression. “…I would also prefer freedom of movement.”

“Sure!” Haruhi exclaimed, happiness radiating off her in such strong waves that even I felt the urge to smile.

But beside her, even as she jabbered on about cute clothing styles, Asahina-san only nodded, not saying a word. She didn’t even seem to be paying attention to anything Haruhi and Nagato were saying at all; her nods came at any point that there was a brief pause in their conversation, regardless of whether it was an appropriate gesture at that time. Every now and then she looked to the side, and now that I was paying attention, I caught sight of her expression – eyes wide but restless, her bottom lip caught adorably between her teeth as she worried it – it seemed almost as if she was lost somewhere.

“As I’m sure you’ve noticed, Asahina-san seemed rather absent this week, though of course, physically speaking, she was present at every meeting,” Koizumi’s voice interrupted my thoughts, calm and smooth as a flight attendant’s announcement of a successful landing. “Ah, and if you perhaps weren’t aware, then I can inform you with utter certainty that Suzumiya-san most acutely _was_. Though not terribly of note, there _has_ been a noticeable increase in closed space over the past week, indicating that although she hasn’t been vocalizing her concern, it has been worrying her ever since Asahina-san’s odd behaviour began manifesting itself.”

Come to think of it, I _had_ seen a scowl on Haruhi’s face more often in the past few days, but I had just attributed it to the fact that Taniguchi had taken up making faces in her general direction every time they passed each other. I’d tried to warn him against it, but he’d taken the opportunity to make another small-minded remark about how I’d really grown into a knight for my girlfriend’s sake.

Morons like Taniguchi never learn, though, so I really shouldn’t be surprised anymore. I keep hoping that what little faith I have in him will be rewarded one day. So far, his idiocy seems to be lowering the odds of that ever happening.

Still, that meant that it _hadn’t_ been Taniguchi who had been the cause of Haruhi’s melancholic turns in the last week – though finding out the real cause wasn’t at all reassuring.

“I wouldn’t be surprised at all if this excursion was subconsciously an excuse to get Asahina-san to cheer up,” Koizumi continued, “though, naturally, Suzumiya-san was interested in visiting this market to begin with. In fact, I was under the impression that she intended to take along only one person, so when she announced this as a Brigade event, I was rather taken aback.”

Wonder who she had been planning to bring along with her.

“I should think that would have been obvious,” he replied, eyeing me as slyly as Pavlov surely eyed his own dog. Both of us, tricked animals.

Never thought I’d be feeling sorry for a dog dead ages ago, but here I am.

“But if it’s been bothering Asahina-san for the whole week, it’s probably not something that can be fixed with a little shopping,” I summarized, shoving my own hands into my pockets with much less grace than when Koizumi had done it.

“Exactly. Given that Suzumiya-san obviously considers Asahina-san’s worries seriously enough to require this sort of a solution, it would also be advisable to find out what it is that’s troubling her so that a true solution can be found.”

And you can’t be bothered to just ask her yourself, of course. Damn it, Koizumi, show some respect!

“Ah, well,” Koizumi said, an irritatingly apologetic smile on his face, “it isn’t that I’m not concerned for Asahina-san. Of course, you understand that Suzumiya-san’s worries are my own, but I care for Asahina-san’s wellbeing of my own accord as well. I consider Asahina-san a true friend, though on occasion her methods are still worthy of further scrutiny. However, I doubt the same can be said for her.”

“Eh?”

“I don’t believe that Asahina-san trusts me,” he told me matter-of-factly. “Thus _you_ are the only one capable of helping in this particular case, as you are likely the only person Asahina-san trusts fully enough to explain herself to.”

…well, that’s some news.

Asahina-san has never told me outright that she doesn’t trust Koizumi, but I wouldn’t put it past her when he’s so roundabout about everything. Hell, sometimes I don’t even trust the guy and he’s usually the one to warn me about most things – when I can understand the jargon he comes out with, anyway.

Well, that wasn’t entirely fair. He’s definitely proven himself, and I don’t think I can say there’s a single Brigade member that I don’t trust with my whole being by now. I suppose everyone is dependable in their own way – even me. It’d be strange if it wasn’t the five of us against whatever crazy things came our way next. It isn’t sentimental to say so – I’m not a sentimental kind of guy – but it’s only the truth.

Does Asahina-san really not feel that way, though?

It was true that she and Koizumi didn’t really make a habit of talking to each other very much, but all their interactions seemed pleasant enough when I’d seen them. Maybe that was just the way I had seen things, though, only because I had wanted to see them that way.

Strange. Could Koizumi be right?

Either way, I’m in for it now.

“All right,” I told him, and he smiled at me again – this time, I thought I could see some relief in it. My skills at reading Koizumi’s expressions were not yet as polished as my proficiency in Nagato-reading, though, nor did I really want them to be. Enough that I have to watch his handsome features twist into variation upon variation of a smile; he can expend the extra effort to explain to me in simple words what he means by them instead of forcing me to figure them out. “I’ll talk to Asahina-san when we get there.”

“Excellent,” he said, and then, out of nowhere, threw an arm around my shoulder. Whoa there! You’re way too close!

“Hey, slowpokes!” came my saviour’s voice – and that sort of qualifier wasn’t one I attributed to that particular voice often, but she got Koizumi to straighten up and remove his face from close proximity to mine, so in this case, I felt it justified. Haruhi grinned broadly at us, and its sharpness felt strangely warm and familiar.

I was definitely losing it after that conversation. 

“You’d better hurry up, or I’ll give the both of you penalties!”

* * *

 

The rest of the walk was uneventful, as we’d almost reached our destination by the time Haruhi had hurried us along. What was most interesting was that, upon arriving at the market, a familiar face greeted us.

“Hey hey, guys! Funny we’d run into each other here, huh?” Tsuruya-san’s smile was wider than ever, and her spirit was indomitable as always. “I was just checkin’ out the goods – there’s some really great stuff here if you take a look ‘round! Oh, oh, Mikuru-chan!”

Tsuruya-san took hold of our upperclassman’s fragile arm with the strength of a professional wrestler and pulled her small body against hers in a tight hug. “It’s really good to see ya! I’ve got so much I wanna show you – hey, Harunyan, you don’t mind that I steal Mikuru-chan away from you for a minute, right?”

“Go ahead!” Haruhi said with a generous wave of her arm, as if Asahina-san really was hers to give away. I had seen the two of them exchange a look before Haruhi had answered, though, which belied the previously simple-seeming exchange. Interesting. “You’ll have to show me everything later too, Tsuruya-san, alright?”

“Sounds good!” she beamed, and a moment later she’d dragged Asahina-san away by the arm, chattering in her ear about something or other. They made a sight for sore eyes; Tsuruya-san’s long hair bouncing behind her as she skipped her way forward, Asahina-san turning to reply with her hands clutching at her collar, two best friends on a trip out to the market. If you didn’t know that Asahina-san hadn’t been at her best in the past week, it would have been a perfect picture of friendship.

As it is, I’m more interested in the look Haruhi shared with Tsuruya-san. But if I ask Haruhi directly, I’ll never get a straight answer.

There’s one person that I can always rely on, however. One person who likely knows all the answers already. One person who, right now, just put on a headband with cat ears sticking up from it.

“Yo, Nagato.”

There was no response from the self-proclaimed data interface but for her slowly turning to face me. Her eyes followed Haruhi, who I saw taking Koizumi’s hand to drag him over to look at a basket filled with odds and ends of nothing particularly useful. Strangely intimate from the two of them. Is Koizumi making it his mission to cozy up to every girl in the SOS Brigade or what?!

At least he hadn’t made a move on Nagato yet. Firm and dependable as always, the petite girl stood before me, her expression only a tick towards passively interested. I got the feeling she wanted to get back to her shopping.

“That headband looks good on you,” I told her, for lack of a better thing to say.

“Thank you,” she replied simply.

“…don’t you think the cat ears are a bit much?”

One of her hands reached up – the movement seemed so disconnected that it almost looked as if her arm was moving independently of her – and touched the pliable fabric covering the wire ears. “They are not much of anything, due to their small size,” she told me.

Good one, Nagato.

“I just meant—” I waved my hand fruitlessly, knowing as I did it that the gesture was meaningless. Why did I even do it, then?

Anyway. Change of subject. New topic: Haruhi’s odd behaviour.

“Suzumiya Haruhi was aware that Asahina Mikuru’s closest associate in this time plane would be here.” It seemed as though Nagato had read my mind; in all honesty, though, I’m much more of an open book than Nagato herself is, and she could probably see where I’d been going with my question before I’d even asked it. “She arranged this meeting earlier this morning.”

Hoping that Tsuruya-san would lift Asahina-san’s spirits, eh?

“That was her objective.”

“It’s not going to work, is it?” I wasn’t hopeful, but it was worth a shot to ask. After all, it would ease my own duties.

“No. The likelihood of success is currently 5.372 percent.”

Nagato paused then. Her eyes were calm, but she appeared to be focusing on something beyond me. Almost as though…she was concerned.

“Do you know what’s wrong with Asahina-san?” I asked on a whim. It was a stupid question. Nagato couldn’t read minds. No matter how omniscient she seemed, there were some feats that even the great Nagato couldn’t pull off.

“…it is not my place to tell you.”

_What?!_

Did Asahina-san…ask _Nagato_ for help?

“Asahina Mikuru sought advice. I…sympathized.”

The sight was almost comical. Nagato, standing before me in her unwrinkled school uniform and a pair of childlike black cat ears, her expression serious as if she was telling me Momusu had suddenly decided to break up. And yet, what she was telling me might have even been more groundbreaking.

Asahina-san – both now and later, as Asahina (big) – had never outwardly behaved as though she thought of Nagato as anything other than someone to be intimidated by. Her actions around Nagato were always hesitant ones, even though Nagato herself had proven time and time again that her actions were in service of the Brigade – thus, including Asahina-san – and never against it. And still, on that fateful Tanabata night, during those terrible three days in December…even Asahina (big) had tiptoed around Nagato, despite the fact that she had handled everything else with confidence and grace that her younger self sometimes lacked due to inexperience and never being told anything outright by her superiors.

So, with all of this evidence laid out, why would Asahina-san willingly go to Nagato for advice?

Sorry, Nagato. No offense meant. After all, your advice has helped me through countless problems that I’ve endured just fine.

But this was yet another mystery on top of the pile that had been accumulating ever since Koizumi had opened his mouth. You can’t blame me for being a little curious.

At least, if this is true – and Nagato wouldn’t lie – then that means that Asahina-san might actually be warming up to the SOS Brigade’s own stolen literature club member. That thought was a hopeful one, if nothing else.

“How did it feel?” I asked, impulsive again. Too often, I speak before I think. My mom would go ballistic if she knew. “Helping Asahina-san like that. Did you enjoy it?”

“…” Her expression was impassive as always, but I thought I saw her facial muscles relax. “…it was a valuable experience.”

Glad to hear that, Nagato. And thanks. Your help is invaluable too.

She didn’t say anything after that, only moving to remove the cat ears on her head. Her eyes fixed the headband for a silent moment before a thought seemed to hit her, because she tilted her head upwards to meet mine for another moment, as if she had just remembered something.

“You are _not_ a cat man?” she asked, as if my answer would clarify things for her, but I was even more confused.

I guess I kind of am a cat man, aren’t I? If Shamisen is any indication, anyway, despite the fact that my sister plays with him far more than I ever have. Despite that, I wouldn’t say I have any particular fondness for cats – I mean, not more than your average guy whose opinions on cats don’t swing more in one direction than the other. That’s a weird question to ask, though, isn’t it? I wonder what brought it—

 _Oh_.

Suddenly I was reminded of a Nagato from so long ago, glasses innocuously perched on her nose, and I waved my hands in a desperate attempt to backtrack.

“That’s not – eh, what I mean is – you wear what you’d like, Nagato,” I told her, and I could feel the embarrassment written plain across my face. I wondered if Nagato could tell. “Wear it for yourself, not for anyone else, okay?”

A moment passed in which nothing happened but for my embarrassment growing tenfold, and then Nagato nodded slowly, as though she was processing important information. Then, without another word, she placed the headband back onto her head, the cat ears threading through thin strands of her hair before they popped up again, proud as a general having just won the pivotal battle in the war. In the next moment, she turned away from me, returning to her search through the random assortment of items before her.

I let her go for it, shoving my hands back into my pockets and walking away.

Have fun, Nagato. Pick something out that you like. Haruhi won’t mind. In fact, I bet she’ll love it. 

Meanwhile, I have a time traveler to find.

* * *

 

Locating Asahina-san wasn’t hard to do when Tsuruya-san was with her. The energetic upperclassman was hanging onto Asahina-san’s arm and pointing at a bright array of keychains in cute shapes, their fingers intertwined. Naturally, Tsuruya-san was loud and enthusiastic as ever; it was easy enough to follow her voice to that calming sight of two friends shopping together.

“Don’t they look _adorable_ , Mikuru-chan? One of them would be _super_ cute to have for your keys! We could even get matchin’ ones, whaddaya think?”

“Ah, that’d be really nice…!”

Tsuruya-san’s grin was radiant; I thought I saw her squeeze Asahina-san’s hand. Asahina-san smiled back at her, and despite being in profile, I’m sure it was the most beautiful thing I’d ever witnessed. But even though she looked marginally happier, the worry hadn’t entirely left her. Her posture was tense and totally unlike Asahina-san’s usually soft demeanour – and when did I start using the word ‘totally’ like that? Haruhi must be rubbing off on me.

Now that’s something I don’t want to think about.

“Oh, hey hey, guess who’s makin’ eyes at us, Mikuru-chan!”

My upperclassman’s bright and eager voice broke me out of my own thoughts, and thankfully so. But it was embarrassing as all hell to have both of the girls staring at me like that; Asahina-san looked troubled and surprised, and Tsuruya-san’s expression spelled mischief.

“Heya, Kyon-kun! It’s flattering to have you stare at me and Mikuru-chan, but we’re taken, y’know!” Before I had a chance to even show surprise, Tsuruya-san added, “She’s with me and I’m with her!”

Asahina-san blushed, looking down at her shoes, like a saint caught in the intimate act of prayer. Tsuruya-san only cackled merrily.

There’s something to be said about her level of carefree bliss. Mind lending some of that to me someday, Tsuruya-san? I think I’ll be needing it.

“I was just wondering if I could borrow Asahina-san for a second,” I tried, despite Tsuruya-san’s continued laughter. The SOS Brigade’s enigmatic time traveler looked up at me abruptly at that, but I was looking firmly at her companion. If I focused too hard on Asahina-san, I’m sure all my resolve would crumble and I would spill everything then and there.

“Oh? I’m not your type?” Tsuruya-san winked at me and tugged Asahina-san forward. “All right,” she said, smiling more gently at her, “go ahead, then. But if you try anythin’, Kyon-kun, I’ll know about it! And no one wants to mess with someone who knows the Tsuruya style of combat – hah!”

She let go of Asahina-san’s hand to fall into a fighting position, as if to warn me. Asahina-san just looked between the two of us, wide-eyed.

Don’t worry, Tsuruya-san. I’m not planning anything untoward. Just trying to cheer up a friend and make sure the world as we know it continues to exist. You know, the usual.

Her long hair shook over her shoulders with the force of her laughter.

“No worries, Kyon-kun,” she said when she’d settled down. “Mikuru-chan trusts you, so I trust you! And I know you’re a good kid by now, anyways. Just let me know when you’re finished with each other!”

And, with a cheery wave, she bounced off to look at other tables.

Just seeing her that energetic made me feel even more exhausted. Between her, the sun, and Haruhi herself, I didn’t know how there was any energy left in the world. Maybe Haruhi maximized entropy in this universe and coopted it for her own use only. I wouldn’t be surprised.

“Did you need me for something, Kyon-kun?” came the quiet question from at my side. I looked down to meet Asahina-san’s subdued smile and tired eyes. She looked so worn in that moment that I couldn’t help but worry she would blow away with the next breeze.

My resolve was only strengthened by that sight. Asahina-san should never look so helpless; it was only natural for me to feel protective.

“Actually, I was wondering whether everything was all right, Asahina-san.”

The surprise on Asahina-san’s face was written plain on her face, as if she was surprised to hear the question. It crossed my mind that perhaps, in fact, she _hadn’t_. Her superiors – as well as Asahina (big) herself – hadn’t ever shown her much kindness in all that she’d told me, and getting caught up in Haruhi’s business usually meant that we rarely stopped to ask each other how things were going. I’d realized that I shouldn’t have been relying on Nagato too heavily and tried to change my behaviour there, but it hadn’t occurred to me that I should have been more conscious of everyone else, too.

Expressing myself in those kinds of terms wasn’t ever something I’d been good at. My sister was much better at throwing around affectionate words. I’d never really needed to before now; it wasn’t like Taniguchi or Kunikida needed me to check in on them, and Sasaki had been more than self-sufficient. I suppose I had just always taken it for granted that the people I was close to would feel the closeness in the same way I did.

Maybe I was too narrow-minded.

In any case, I couldn’t bear to see a look like that on Asahina-san’s kind features. If we weren’t there to take care of her, who would be?

“Ah…I’m okay,” she finally answered, wringing her hands almost nervously. Her eyes didn’t meet my own until she spoke again. “Just – just a little, um, worried, I guess.”

“What is it?” I asked, trying my best to be gentle. After all, if there was anyone who was worth that extra effort, it wouldn’t do for it to be anyone but Asahina-san.

“Oh. Oh…”

She finally stopped wringing her hands – only to raise them, hiding her face between her slender fingers and soft palms, letting out a tiny squeak reminiscent of a bird that had just flown into a glass door.

“Some of it is classified, b-but I can’t tell what is or isn’t with you…!”

I didn’t know what to say to that. Sorry, Asahina-san. I’ve already spoken to your future self, and she’s not much help either.

The current version of the girl before me peeked through her fingers, brown eyes searching mine, and tried again, slightly muffled by her hands.

“I’m…I suppose you could say I’m under review – um, even though the process isn’t exactly the same…but the details are classified, that much I’m certain of,” she said in a small voice. It wavered as she went on. “My superiors are d-deciding whether or not I’ve done a sufficiently thorough job, ah, of…carrying out my duties as o-observer and active participant…”

So it was a job review. That was a relief. If it’s just a job review, it’ll be over soon enough, won’t it, Asahina-san? And then everything will just carry on as normal as it gets around Haruhi.

But she was shaking her head. In the spaces between her fingers, I could see her eyes were squeezed shut, and to my dismay, I thought I could spot tears welling up at their corners.

“If – if I don’t do well, they’ll be reconsidering m-my appointment here…I c-could be forced to return to my own t-time plane,” she said. “A-and…and then I would never see Kyon-kun and everyone else again…”

There was a squeezing in the vicinity of my gut that could only be described as feeling as though the orexinergic pathways of my brain had started functioning in overdrive and thus, with nothing else inside to digest, my stomach had begun to tear itself apart for nutrition.

Asahina-san eventually graduating before us was one thing. Asahina-san being torn from us when she had done nothing wrong was a completely different ball game. And aside from how I felt about it, I knew instinctively that this was one game Haruhi would never on her life be interested in.

Suddenly, Nagato’s ability to sympathize with Asahina-san made a hell of a lot more sense.

“That’s not going to happen.”

I put my hand on her shoulder and gently squeezed – Asahina-san looked up at me, lowered her hands only slightly, but that was enough for me to see the tears streaming freely down her face now.

“E-eh…?”

“That won’t happen,” I repeated, more confidently this time. I still wasn’t sure how this was going to be fixed, but I was going to make damn sure it _would_ be, no matter how. After all, I already knew I had Haruhi on my side. Our dear Brigade leader would never let one of her members – her _friends_ – go missing just like that. She would move heaven, earth, and hell itself to keep us together. “Your superiors can try all they want, but you’ll be staying here, with us. We won’t let them take you back like that, okay?”

“But…” Asahina-san looked only marginally reassured. I didn’t blame her; I’d made better inspirational speeches in my short lifetime. “I – I’m not really anyone invaluable, like Nagato-san…or a-anything like that. Anyone with a TPDD and t-training can do what I do. And now my superiors know what Suzumiya-san likes about me…they’ll be sure to send back someone, someone better.” Her lower lip trembled as if she were about to start crying again. “I j-just – Kyon-kun and the SOS Brigade…you’re all m-my only friends, and I don’t want to lose that…!”

Her expression broke my heart.

“ _You’re_ our friend, Asahina-san,” I said firmly, taking one of her small hands in mine. With the other, I gently pressed my thumb to the corner of her eye and wiped away the tears there. “No one could ever replace you. It’s not that we care how much you’re useful to us, got that? Hell, Koizumi asked me if I knew what was wrong with you. Nagato wants to help as much as she can. And I already know Haruhi would throw a fit if someone tried to take your place. It’s us or nothing.”

For all her mulishness, Haruhi’s stubborn personality was how _she_ expressed herself, in any case. Good for something, at least.

“You’re one of us, Asahina-san. That means we’ll fight for you too.”

“Oh…!”

Her small frame shook, and she welled up again. This time, though, her eyes shone just a little brighter behind the watery wall that her tears had created to shield them, and there was a wavering, small, but _happy_ smile pulling her lips upwards.

“Thank you, Kyon-kun,” she said, and then launched herself towards me in a tight hug.

Despite the easy distraction I had available at my disposal thanks to this turn of events, it meant more to have Asahina-san’s face buried in my shirt, her thin arms clutching my midsection as though I had just saved her from drowning after her boat had capsized in treacherous waters. This was trust, I thought. It was a little intimidating to have so much of it put in me when I was just some guy who had been in the wrong place at the wrong time and knew less than anyone how to deal with these strange situations that we were always caught up in. But everyone’s got the power to do _something_ , especially when they’ve got the kinds of people I have on my side.

I hugged her in return, and even patted her back gently a few times for good measure.

Unfortunately, the moment wasn’t to last.

“Hey! What is this, insubordination?! We’re trying to find more stuff for the clubroom, there’s no time to waste!”

Like a bullet from a gun, Asahina-san jumped back from me, shaking her head while trying to surreptitiously wipe her eyes. This being Asahina-san, of course, her try at subtlety didn’t exactly work out as well as she’d hoped; I could tell Haruhi had noticed by the way her expression mellowed from her harsh leader’s look to one of concern.

“N-not at all, Suzumiya-san! Sorry, I was just, um…Kyon-kun helped me find a keychain I really liked, and so I was thanking him for it!”

“Okay,” Haruhi allowed. It was like her voice had come down from its throne to take its place among its people; she was much gentler now. “Don’t worry about a thing, Mikuru-chan. I’ll have a talk with Kyon about this, but you can go off and shop some more, all right?”

“Ah…!” Asahina-san looked worried – maybe she was concerned that Haruhi was going to have me take the blame. In this case, though, I’d gladly take the fall. Besides, I needed to talk to Haruhi anyway.

I shook my head at her and smiled. Asahina-san nodded, but her step back was hesitant, unsure. Haruhi looked between us with narrowed eyes.

“I’ll find Tsuruya-san,” Asahina-san finally said, and with a small smile, she turned heel and disappeared in between a man who was holding up a battered frying pan and a high school student showing her friend a cell phone accessory.

The second she was gone, Haruhi whirled around to stare at me. Her hands were on her hips and a scowl distorted her otherwise beautiful face.

“What was that about, then?!” she asked me. The appropriate word for it might have been _demanded_. “If you don’t tell me, you won’t even know what’s hit you!”

That’s not a very convincing way to get anyone to tell you anything, Haruhi. Try not to sound like you’re going to throw anyone who disobeys you under a guillotine next time.

“That’s an unfair comparison! I’m just worried about Mikuru-chan, all right?”

She crossed her arms over her chest and harrumphed, looking away from me and instead in the direction that Asahina-san had walked off in. I didn’t say a thing. This was Haruhi, after all. She’s got to get her own stuff worked out first before she needs me to start talking. I’m not going to interrupt that.

As though following stage directions, there were another few moments of silence before Haruhi spoke again, and when she did, it was more pensive. It was also nothing that I’d been expecting to hear.

“Do you know how, in superhero stories, the hero always leads a double life?”

I mean…yeah. It’s a common enough trope in anime and manga too. I’d read my fair share of stories like that.

What did that have to do with anything, though?

“As a hero, he’s saving the world every day from monsters and evil villains, but then he’s got a secret identity so that he can protect the people close to him from also being attacked by those monsters and villains. And even though those people close to him would probably be the best people to rely on if something went wrong in his superhero adventures, he can’t, because he’s not telling them anything about it for their own good.” She frowned and looked back at me. Her hair framed her face, creating a contrast of light and dark. “I’ve always wondered what the people close to the hero would think. They care just as much for the hero as he does for them, but they only get to show him in his life undercover. They deserve to care for him even when he does his superhero stuff too, don’t they? They deserve to know. What if they want to help him, but he just disappears on them without telling them anything and never comes back, you know?”

She brushed a strand of hair from her face, which had the effect of making her hard stare even more piercing. “I’m worried like that for Mikuru-chan. Well, for Yuki-chan and Koizumi-kun too, but more for Mikuru-chan lately. Not that superheroes exist – I’m not _stupid_ – but she just…tells everyone so little, you know? I feel like she doesn’t want to worry anyone by complaining, but she doesn’t _have_ to. We’d help her, wouldn’t we? She knows we care about her.”

It was like she was trying to convince herself of that, or as if she was asking me to confirm or deny it. I only shrugged.

“Maybe it’s because we’re younger than she is, so she doesn’t want to freak us out with university troubles or something like that…but she should _know_ we wouldn’t care about that. We’ve got to start thinking about those kinds of things anyway. I want to be able to help her out. Don’t you?”

“Yeah.”

It was a pretty standard answer, I know, but I meant it. And besides, I’d finally found a way to bring up my own worries, so I didn’t need to waste time on formalities.

“Actually, that’s why I was talking to her earlier instead of looking for more things for the clubroom. Even though we don’t need more things for the clubroom.”

“Of course we do, that stuff’s all essential,” she frowned at me, but it was clear from the spark of attention in her eyes that she was listening. “I’ll forgive you for the insubordination, then, but only if you tell me what Mikuru-chan said.”

I was going to tell you anyway.

“Then just tell me!”

Impatient, our upstanding Brigade leader.

“Her…guardians are worried about how well she’s doing in school,” I said, rather artfully in my opinion. I’d managed to draw a pretty good comparison to what was actually happening. “They’ve told her that they’re thinking of taking her out of North High to finish the school year elsewhere and not letting her see us anymore, if they decide we’re too much of a distraction."

“ _What_?!” The outrage in Haruhi’s expression was so strong I could practically feel it radiating onto me.

“That’s what she told me,” I said, adding a shrug for good measure.

“But her grades are good! I’ve seen her school reports myself! How is that fair to Mikuru-chan?!”

“I don’t think it’s to do with grades. I think it’s her attitude they’re worried about.”

And, as I knew she would, Haruhi exploded in righteous anger.

“Her _attitude_?! Mikuru-chan is the nicest, sweetest, most hardworking girl I’ve ever met! Any university would be lucky to have her – the SOS Brigade itself is lucky to have her as such an upstanding mascot! Taking her away from us is only gonna demoralize her and make it even worse!” She grabbed the sleeve of my jacket and tugged me down to face her more closely. Her whole expression was impassioned enough that it felt as though she was on fire and I was catching with her. “We’re going to go talk her guardians out of it, right?! You and me! And Yuki-chan and Koizumi-kun can take care of Mikuru-chan while we do it!”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I said, and her grip on my arm tightened.

“What do you _mean_ , it’s not a good idea?! I’m not letting Mikuru-chan leave us like that! Did you even _see_ her this week? She’s been worrying herself sick over it and didn’t even feel like she could tell us!”

“We’ll only look like more of a bad influence, won’t we?”

There was a pause, and then, slowly, Haruhi loosened her fingers so that she was holding me only in the sense that her hand was around my wrist.

“No,” she said. Her voice was more thoughtful now. She shook her head and met my eyes again, her angry passion replaced by cool, fierce determination. “It’s not that. Mikuru-chan’s got to stand up for herself, that’s what it is. I know she can do it.”

The way she said _that_ sounded remarkably personal.

“That way her guardians can tell that she’s got the right attitude for these sorts of things, right? She doesn’t have to leave us to know who she is and what she cares about. But we have to show her that we care about her, too! That we’ll be behind her every step of the way, that we’ll be there if she needs us, no matter what!”

Her stubbornness really _does_ act as an outlet for her affection towards people. I felt the urge to smile, and I’m really bad at holding out against temptation. So I did.

“What are you smiling like that for, stupid?!”

It’s nothing, Haruhi. Just thinking about superheroes and the people that stay close to them, and about how things have changed. 

“Oh, forget it. C’mon, then, let’s go get everyone!”

* * *

 

It wasn’t long before Haruhi had found Nagato and Koizumi. They were luckily standing just by each other; Koizumi was showing Nagato a laptop case and explaining something about the usefulness of having one. Nagato, the cat ears still on her head, appeared to be listening intently, nodding every once in awhile and staring at the case otherwise.

It was strange, seeing them so…normal. But a welcome sort of strange.

If I’m being honest, every kind of strange has made itself welcome in my life recently. So maybe I shouldn’t be categorizing them anyway. It’s enough just to say that I was glad to see that the two of them were carrying on like the high school students we all are.

It took Haruhi less than a minute to explain what was going on. Koizumi caught my eye as she gestured wildly, and shot me a wink. _Excellent work_ , I could almost hear him say. What a smug bastard.

Nagato remained impassive, but she was the first to move when Haruhi ordered us all forward to look for Asahina-san. It was Nagato who found our gentle upperclassman, actually, though whether or not her abilities were any part of the reason why she’d been able to locate Asahina-san so quickly couldn’t be proven for certain.

But it wasn’t as though that sort of detail mattered to Haruhi, anyway, so it’s inconsequential.

“Mikuru-chan, there you are!” she practically shouted once Nagato had pointed her out, dragging her from her conversation with a kindly old man who looked quite confused. “We were looking all over for you!”

“Oh, I’m sorry—!” Her eyes widened in surprise as she saw all of us. “I was just looking for Tsuruya-san, but her phone’s turned off, so I was asking if anyone had seen her…”

“We’ll find Tsuruya-san later,” Haruhi said dismissively, with a wave of her arm. Koizumi looked amused by the whole situation, but then again that felt a little as though it was his permanent expression. Take things a little more seriously, Koizumi, it won’t kill you.

“Okay,” Asahina-san acquiesced easily enough, though her eyes darted from me to Nagato to Koizumi and back to Haruhi. “Is everything all right?”

“We wanted to make sure everything was all right with _you_ , Asahina-san,” Koizumi replied as if on cue, and to his credit, his expression evoked the words ‘concerned friend’ as a descriptor now.

“Your behaviour has worried all of us,” added Nagato quietly. “We were concerned for you.”

“Kyon told me everything,” Haruhi finished, firm but gentle, a mass of contradictions like she always was.

Asahina-san seemed almost panicked now, looking at me as if I’d just caused the universe’s impending implosion. Hold on, Asahina-san. The world’s not going to change just yet.

“Your guardians obviously don’t understand how much you’ve grown into yourself over your years at North High, and they don’t get it if they think that how nice you are means you don’t have the right attitude to succeed!” With that proclamation, Haruhi put a hand on her hip and waved around to the rest of us with the other. “We’ve seen more than anyone how you aren’t just some sweet _moe_ mascot, even though you play the part of it really well! And no matter what you do, we’ll be here for you the whole way, okay? _All_ of us will! They won’t split us up, or I’ll give them hell.” And then, determined; “And you can too, Mikuru-chan. You do what you like, and we won’t stop you. But you should know that we’ll always be there for you, okay? They can’t take you away from us, no matter how hard they try!”

Asahina-san looked like she wanted to cry again, although this time her smile was even wider despite the tears.

You’ve done it, Haruhi. There’s no way Asahina-san’s superiors will hear a proclamation like that and judge her work unsatisfactory. They’d never want to see the repercussions something like that will cause. And, on top of that, Asahina-san might finally take more control over her own actions in our own little time plane, thanks to your inspiring words.

It’s chaos having a friend like Haruhi, but it’s hard to regret. She’s one hell of a Brigade leader.

“Thank you, everyone,” Asahina-san sniffled, wiping away the tears that had been on the edge of falling. “That…this means a lot to me…!”

“You mean equally as much to us, Asahina-san,” Koizumi said. A genuine smile brightened his model’s face, a contrast from his usual mysterious smirk. Even Nagato was smiling, though in her case it was barely visible. Haruhi was grinning, and a moment later, she’d pulled Asahina-san into a hug.

“You’ll always be our friend, Mikuru-chan!”

With a wave, she gestured us over to join the hug. Koizumi caught my eye and shrugged; with a shake of my head in disbelief, we both moved forward to join them. Nagato joined us seconds later.

This was another kind of strange. As someone who didn’t often experience outpourings of emotions like this, I didn’t know how to react. But I’ve already reflected on how normal _strange_ is for me. This is no different. In fact, it might even be better.

Then a noise made to resemble a camera clicking sounded from behind me, and a familiar laugh coloured the air.

“Aww, everyone’s so _cute_! I’m gonna take another picture, ‘kay? It’s so sweet!”

Tsuruya-san waved her phone at us and grinned brightly. 

I couldn't help feeling that this was an appropriate ending to a day like this.

* * *

 

Haruhi was on classroom clean-up duty today. She hadn’t given up complaining about it for all of the day, but despite that, surprisingly, she also didn’t insist that I stay with her while she cleaned.

“You’ll only slow me down,” she’d scowled, and pushed me through the door. “Go make sure that everyone’s ready and in the clubroom!”

So there I was, making my way to the familiar clubroom, my failed world history quiz in my hands. It was telling that I could be staring directly at the paper and yet still knew exactly which turns to make and which stairs to climb. Muscle memory was something to be admired.

Once I’d arrived, I knocked as usual on the door, fulfilling my part of the daily routine that we’d established.

What broke the routine, however, was the door being flung open in front of me only to come face to face with an ecstatic Asahina-san.

“Kyon-kun, Kyon-kun!!” she exclaimed brightly, practically bouncing on the balls of her feet. The maid outfit she was already wearing swished around her and brushed against my legs. “I’ve been approved!!”

It took a moment for the implications of what she’d said to sink in, but when they did, I held my hand up for a high five.

“Congratulations!”

She tapped my hand gently, and, with a squeak of happiness, pressed herself against me in a hug that I returned just as tightly.

“It’s all thanks to you and Suzumiya-san,” Koizumi added from his position by the table, a mischievous smile on his face. “We’ve agreed that, for that reason, it would be advisable that you told her.”

“You helped too,” I pointed out. Pulling away from me, Asahina-san turned around and nodded vehemently both at Koizumi and at Nagato, who had looked up briefly from the book she was reading.

“Whether or not my superiors consider you worthy of attention, _I_ do,” she said. The sincerity in her voice couldn’t be faked. “To them, it might have only mattered that Kyon-kun and Suzumiya-san thought I was fulfilling my duties, but to hear what Koizumi-kun and Nagato-san said too and have you all standing behind me meant more to _me_. I’m glad to be considered a friend of yours…and I consider you all my closest friends. I’m so grateful to have all of you…!”

“As are we,” came Nagato’s simple answer.

“The SOS Brigade wouldn’t be the same without all of us here,” Koizumi added with a nod and a smile. “So thank _you_ , Asahina-san.”

As much as I hated to admit it, his suave words had their place here more than ever. I’d wanted to say much the same.

Asahina-san beamed. Nagato smiled. Koizumi, that idiot, chuckled.

And it felt as though the world had been righted again.

Ah, so I’m soft at heart. Give me a break, even I can have my moments. 

* * *

 

By the time Haruhi burst through the door, Koizumi, Nagato, and Asahina-san had left.

“Where _is_ everyone?!” she complained immediately, dropping her bag at the end of the table and stomping towards her desk. The moment she’d gotten there, she fell unceremoniously into her chair and groaned, putting her forehead against the computer keyboard.

“They had to go home – Asahina-san especially,” I said as offhandedly as I could. Even then, at hearing the specification, Haruhi’s head shot up.

There was an outline of several of the square keys of the keyboard on her forehead, visible through her hair. I felt tempted to draw them in with permanent marker.

“Did Mikuru-chan say anything? What’s going on?”

“Nothing.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing’s going on.” By then, I couldn’t help smiling. “Asahina-san’s staying here, at North High. With us.”

There was a brief moment of silence, where Haruhi’s eyes were rounder than a full moon as she stared back at me.

It was shortly interrupted by an elated yell.

Haruhi jumped up and whooped loudly, punching her fist in the air. She looked like an American footballer that had just scored a touchdown, except much more wild in motion, as though this was all that mattered to her. “She’s _staying_!!” came her joyful affirmation, and then she forcibly pulled me up by my arm to hug me in relief and happiness.

Putting my arms around her wasn’t as strange as I thought it would have been. Not that I’d never held Haruhi before – just not in a sense like this. But Haruhi was Haruhi, even during something that would otherwise be an intimate moment, and she pulled me around in circles, her arms still locked around my waist, still shouting in glee.

I wouldn’t have it any other way. Haruhi was Haruhi, and the SOS Brigade was the SOS Brigade. They had become such a routine familiarity in my life that I couldn’t imagine it without them.

Walking to the clubroom after class, playing games with Koizumi and winning, asking Nagato about the book she was reading, complimenting Asahina-san on her tea, hearing Haruhi talk about whatever new project she had in mind for us, and all of the crazy adventures that Haruhi puts us through. Without that, my life would be as normal as any other high school boy’s.

Once, I used to think I wanted that. I decided against it a long time ago.

And hearing Asahina-san thank everyone for being there for her, seeing everyone smile, being pulled into a group hug – and this moment, having Haruhi tug me around in circles because she’s so happy – well, I know I’m right. 

Haruhi wouldn’t trade this for any other world, not anymore. And neither would I.

**Author's Note:**

> comments and things are appreciated, especially since I have no idea yet whether I managed to hit the mark of writing in anything resembling Tanigawa's style!
> 
> also loads of thanks to the people who follow my SOS Brigade blog, askthesosbrigade on tumblr, especially since I just hit over 500 followers there and it's been going on and off for like three years now. god bless those people for putting up with my frequent absence. this goes out to you guys too! <3


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